The Veiled World Seen Rightly

In Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest devotional for September 12th is about going through spiritual confusion. As I read this, I was struck by it's resonance with my spirit. It was odd to me because I don't feel particularly confused at this point of my life. I'm newly married. I've held the same job for nearly four years, my church is vibrant and growing and things are really quite good. Here's the post which can be found at utmost.org:

September 12th

Going Through Spiritual Confusion

by Oswald  Chambers

There are times in your spiritual life when there is confusion, and the way out of it is not simply to say that you should not be confused. It is not a matter of right and wrong, but a matter of God taking you through a way that you temporarily do not understand. And it is only by going through the spiritual confusion that you will come to the understanding of what God wants for you.

The Shrouding of His Friendship (see Luke 11:5-8). Jesus gave the illustration here of a man who appears not to care for his friend. He was saying, in effect, that is how the heavenly Father will appear to you at times. You will think that He is an unkind friend, but remember— He is not. The time will come when everything will be explained. There seems to be a cloud on the friendship of the heart, and often even love itself has to wait in pain and tears for the blessing of fuller fellowship and oneness. When God appears to be completely shrouded, will you hang on with confidence in Him?

The Shadow on His Fatherhood (see Luke 11:11-13). Jesus said that there are times when your Father will appear as if He were an unnatural father— as if He were callous and indifferent— but remember, He is not. “Everyone who asks receives…” (Luke 11:10). If all you see is a shadow on the face of the Father right now, hang on to the fact that He will ultimately give you clear understanding and will fully justify Himself in everything that He has allowed into your life.

The Strangeness of His Faithfulness (see Luke 18:1-8). “When the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:8). Will He find the kind of faith that counts on Him in spite of the confusion? Stand firm in faith, believing that what Jesus said is true, although in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you are asking of Him right now.

Still the ideas of this devotional resonated so deeply in me as mysteriously as pure truth. To be a fruitful branch we have to abide in Christ. That's the pure and simple idea of this blog and this text expresses how God's ways may sometimes be a mystery to us. We may be shrouded in confusion. We both may feel that God is far from us.


When look back at my past I remember how the veiled plan of God, the delayed answer of prayer, appeared to me. The limitation of my understanding drove me both to crippling fear and doubt. But the picture above reminds me of a turning point. It was around March, about five or six years ago, and I found myself in a major funk. I got up on a day off, shaking the metaphoric dust off my feet, to go on a cold walk around Lake Harriet near my home in South Minneapolis. I remember just sitting on the cement behind the iconic band-shell, looking out onto the foggy frozen lake. At the time it was a stunning replica of what I felt my future looked like, cold, grey and uncertain. Cross country skiers and winter winds had carved vague paths through the snow covered ice that winded out into the foggy oblivion with destinations uncertain. From hindsight, this is a good memory. The image of that foggy vista struck me in my spirit and called to honest prayer. In that moment, the season of spiritual confusion changed from being a hindrance to my spiritual growth to being fuel for it. As Chambers would say I hung "on with confidence in Him". Recently at Resurrection Minneapolis Church in South Minneapolis, Pastor David Berge gave a sermon on doubt. Take a listen here if you wish, its content definitely informed some of the base for my processing of this post. The idea at an absurdly basic level is that it is critically wrong to think of the church as a doubt free zone. Faith and doubt are not directly exclusive of each other.

　

Based on this, I come to this question: what is spiritual confusion? It's not just when negative stuff happens to us, or when we are in a period of doubt. The craziness about the life in Christ is that there is power in both good and bad to distract the people of God form kingdom work. Like Chambers said, "it is not a matter of right and wrong", but of God using circumstance to mold us into greater understanding. To put it plainly, during this season of my life in which I find myself so content, there's danger that I may fall into the spiritual confusion that I am in control.

　

This is where the picture above is a bit misleading. Using fog as an image of spiritual confusion elicits thoughts of fear. It's mysterious, constraining, and therefore naturally aligned with the forces of evil and chaos. It's not individual. It just happens and humanity has to deal with it. The words Chambers chooses  in bold headings of his text are, shadow, shroud, and strangeness. These images are metaphoric to our perception of God. The last part is where the truth comes in. God is God as we are not. Our sin separates us from him and he is strange to us.

We don't see the world like God sees. We don't have his vision. We see the world through a veil. It's a part of the human condition that our vision is imperfect. However, how it's how we think about that veil that leads us in how we react to spiritual confusion. We can misconstrue our limited vision and understanding as a shroud that is meant to constrict us, or we can carry on where we are as people created by God, limited in our very existence. The idea of a veil brings to mind another symbol. That of marriage. In the bride bridegroom relationship of the church and Christ, it makes sense that we the church are veiled. We are covered and we have the promise that the will of Christ the bride groom that when he returns to earth we will be made one. The concept allows us to think of this veil of human limitation and our earthly frustrations as fleeting and temporary. It's the concept of one of my favorite hymns: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. "And the things of earth will grow strangely dim" doesn't completely mean that the time we spend on earth is not worth our consideration but instead that it will pass.



In reading the Text from Oswald Chambers, I am struck by how even through now there is so much good and positive in my life, I have been seeing the world and misjudging my own spiritual need. I've not sought God's word with the same fervor as when I was in darker times. Instead in my comfort I've fallen into an unexpected state of spiritual confusion. I find myself grumbling again when little things don't go my way. This text has called be back to the right understanding of my veiled perspective. Even in this good time, I am not good or responsible for the gifts of security and joy giving relationships I have been given by God. Instead I come to the same conclusion as when I walked home from the foggy and frozen lake. Lord, You are in control. I will seek You still. Lead me in Your ways, for the good of Your Kingdom. Amen.