Back in the day, as a kid I remember hearing people talk about the golden rule. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. I bought it mostly. I shouldn't punch people in the face because I don't like being punched in the face. But what about more complex matters? Does it really mean enough?
It's a fact of life that we are not all a like. Because of that, we have different desires for how we are to be treated. In Romans 14, Paul hits on this concept a little bit. His words are directed to the micro-context of theRoman Church he was writing to, but I feel like there are some clear applications for Christians of this day and age too.
Romans 14 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
The Law of Liberty
14 Accept anyone who is weak in faith,[a] but don’t argue about doubtful issues. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, but one who is weak eats only vegetables. 3 One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat, and one who does not eat must not criticize one who does, because God has accepted him. 4 Who are you to criticize another’s household slave? Before his own Lord he stands or falls. And he will stand. For the Lord is able[b] to make him stand.5 One person considers one day to be above another day.Someone else considers every day to be the same. Each one must be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 Whoever observes the day, observes it for the honor of the Lord.[c] Whoever eats, eats for the Lord, since he gives thanks to God; and whoever does not eat, it is for the Lord that he does not eat it, yet he thanks God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 Christ died and came to life for this: that He might rule over both the dead and the living.10 But you, why do you criticize your brother? Or you, why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before the tribunal of God.[d] 11 For it is written:12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.The Law of Love
13 Therefore, let us no longer criticize one another. Instead decide never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in your brother’s way. 14 (I know and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself. Still, to someone who considers a thing to be unclean, to that one it is unclean.) 15 For if your brother is hurt by what you eat, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy that one Christ died for by what you eat. 16 Therefore, do not let your good be slandered, 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever serves Christ in this way is acceptable to God and approved by men.19 So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another. 20 Do not tear down God’s work because of food. Everything is clean, but it is wrong for a man to cause stumbling by what he eats. 21 It is a noble thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother stumble.[f] 22 Do you have a conviction?[g] Keep it to yourself before God. The man who does not condemn himself by what he approves is blessed. 23 But whoever doubts stands condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from a conviction,[h] and everything that is not from a conviction[i] is sin.
When Paul writes to the church, it's interesting to think about the structure of these churches at the time. They were gatherings of small groups, mostly of Jews, who have learned of Christ and have altered their customs to accommodate the idea that they now live in a post messianic age, awaiting Christ's kingdom-comin'-down return. It was extremely new, counter cultural and edgy. It was also laid out in this new theology, in the words of Christ and by the authority of the Apostles, that Gentiles are meant to know the goodness this Messiah brings. So naturally, these are with people who live and act differently. Some Christians still wished to practice certain rituals of the Jewish faith. While the teaching of the new Christian doctrine clearly states that nothing that we put in us can make us unclean, Paul's words are encouraging the church to not make mountains out of mole hills. People feel differently, and Paul says Christians aight to back to respect that in a way that almost radical.
Put yourself in the shoes of a first century Jew. You have heard the good news of Christ crucified and resurrected and have bought into the idea that this odd man from Nazareth was truly the son of God and the savior of the world. You're cool with that. You've changed your life, and joined a group of apparent misfits who are in peril from multiple sides. Rome doesn't like you because you worship a crowned king with divine claims and the Jews don't like you anymore because you're part of a dangerous heretical sect. All this considered, you go to meet up with your new religious radical comrades and they serve up a dinner of pork chops and oysters. For your whole life, the things in front of you on the table are as out of place and retched as fecal matter and tainted blood. That'd make a person a bit uncomfortable.
This is what Paul is talking about. If the wishes and the feeling of a guest are not taken into account the host is out of touch. There are multiple levels to this too. Consider you want to host a dinner party with some of your friends and neighbors, but you learn the new family next door who you want to invite is vegan. You may want to serve steaks, but if you want to begin on the right foot you aught to at least have an alternative available. The next step, and likely the better step to get off on the right foot with your new neighbors , would be to choose to serve a vegan meal.
These are little choices that could really have a big impact. As Christians we are called to take up our cross and follow Christ. To me this means to set aside what we desire and to go where God calls us and to live, to the best of our ability, as Christ lived. Christ gave up all the rights imaginable. He gave up heaven to die violently on earth. The literal least we can do is learn to set aside personal preference.
A few years ago I went to a cultural competency training and left with the words: "treat others the way they would like to be treated" ringing in my ears. It's what is referred to as the "Platinum Rule". By the golden rule "treat others as you would like to be treated" I could set a medium rare steak in front of my vegan neighbor and say, "here's dinner, look how nice I'm being, I'm giving you what I would like to be given", but that wouldn't be right. It would be at very least be and awkward conversation. To me this platinum rule is a much better way to think about relating to others because spiritual fellowship or encouragement doesn't go well with a side of ugly misunderstandings. Neither does the sharing of the Gospel.
"...So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another..."
Paul states that peace is what we should pursue. This ridiculously simple phrase is key to any Christian ministry that is to promote the sharing of the Gospel and/or the spiritual growth of individuals. We must always build up and of we ever tear down we must always ask for forgiveness.
In Romans 14, Paul is begging his new Christian brothers and sisters to be humble and to not slap people across the face with their convictions. The concept of being plated something at the dinner table that makes someone uncomfortable is only the tip of what Paul is highlighting here. What would be worse than serving someone a plate of food they have always understood to be unclean, is to then look at them and tell them that they are stupid or wrong for feeling as if it is unclean, or give them any suggestion that you think that.
In Romans 14, Paul is begging his new Christian brothers and sisters to be humble and to not slap people across the face with their convictions. The concept of being plated something at the dinner table that makes someone uncomfortable is only the tip of what Paul is highlighting here. What would be worse than serving someone a plate of food they have always understood to be unclean, is to then look at them and tell them that they are stupid or wrong for feeling as if it is unclean, or give them any suggestion that you think that.
This leads to a word in the heading of this passage that catches my eye. Liberty is a word that can be completely misconstrued. Our country for instance lifts the concept of liberty extremely highly, but spoke of is as "for all" when for so many people it simply didn't apply. What Paul is saying, is that each person has the Liberty to decide what is appropriate for them. We have the liberty to have different convictions and preferences. This is part of God's created order. Humanity can choose God or not God. They are at liberty to make that choice. People have the liberty now days to prefer a liturgical church services lead by a priest, or a church in which worship is based on hymns and intellectual scripture study. Another may prefer a house church with less structure and more open discussion and interactivity. These are some of the differences that today Paul could refer as "doubtful issues" which is encourages his readers to avoid debating.
This is when I'm called back to the "take up your cross and follow me idea". Christians who aim to follow this prayerfully will consult the spirit of God with their liberty. They use their liberty to give up their liberty. We defer our desires, for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Do we always do this well? I know I don't. We are imperfect in our attempts because we are sinful. But in order to be in right relationship with others, family, spouses, children, friends, neighbors, strangers, other believers and non believers alike we have to fall back on this idea of loosening the strangle hold we can have on our convictions. It's not letting go of these convictions or counting them to be meaningless, but prioritizing living with others rightly.
After reading Romans 14, I continued and read through the end of the book. I was struck by the personal nature of Paul's shout outs. He listed individuals, men and women, by name and by their accomplishments. He greeted them not as a superior but as a friend. This to me is remarkable. In the grand scheme of things the Apostle Paul is a gigantic figure, and he's constantly on the move. The idea that Paul would be this relational in nature is challenging. He remembered countless individuals. This shows that even though Paul was as busy as he was he wasn't just talking about relational correctness, he lived it.
This is part of what it takes to be a fruitful branch. It's more than the golden rule. It's living with liberty to give up liberty a heart of love. We have to seek peace with people. We must seek relational correctness. It is only by relationship that the spirit takes hold of a human heart. It's the only way we grow as people, and they only way that people come to understand the Gospel. Let us live lives as people of love, who are willing to set aside some of the things we desire and prefer in order to relate to people of different cultures practices and beliefs. Within these relationships we can show others the sacrificial love of Christ. To do this we must be alert. As Paul says in Ephesians 6, we aught to "fit our feet with readiness". and what do you need to use some ready and able feet? A open mind, a self-less heart, and eyes that are alert to the people and the needs around you.
This is when I'm called back to the "take up your cross and follow me idea". Christians who aim to follow this prayerfully will consult the spirit of God with their liberty. They use their liberty to give up their liberty. We defer our desires, for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Do we always do this well? I know I don't. We are imperfect in our attempts because we are sinful. But in order to be in right relationship with others, family, spouses, children, friends, neighbors, strangers, other believers and non believers alike we have to fall back on this idea of loosening the strangle hold we can have on our convictions. It's not letting go of these convictions or counting them to be meaningless, but prioritizing living with others rightly.
After reading Romans 14, I continued and read through the end of the book. I was struck by the personal nature of Paul's shout outs. He listed individuals, men and women, by name and by their accomplishments. He greeted them not as a superior but as a friend. This to me is remarkable. In the grand scheme of things the Apostle Paul is a gigantic figure, and he's constantly on the move. The idea that Paul would be this relational in nature is challenging. He remembered countless individuals. This shows that even though Paul was as busy as he was he wasn't just talking about relational correctness, he lived it.
This is part of what it takes to be a fruitful branch. It's more than the golden rule. It's living with liberty to give up liberty a heart of love. We have to seek peace with people. We must seek relational correctness. It is only by relationship that the spirit takes hold of a human heart. It's the only way we grow as people, and they only way that people come to understand the Gospel. Let us live lives as people of love, who are willing to set aside some of the things we desire and prefer in order to relate to people of different cultures practices and beliefs. Within these relationships we can show others the sacrificial love of Christ. To do this we must be alert. As Paul says in Ephesians 6, we aught to "fit our feet with readiness". and what do you need to use some ready and able feet? A open mind, a self-less heart, and eyes that are alert to the people and the needs around you.
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